What to do about ugly people on Halloween?

I was asked, “What do you think about girls who dress sleazy on Halloween, but don’t have the body for it?” My thoughts follow:

On the one hand, let’s be democratic about it. They are merely exercising their right to do so. But on the other hand, by dressing up in an offensive fashion, are they trespassing my rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Perhaps.

We have no lawful means to control what a person does in their own homes as long as they do not violate the rights of anyone else. Conceivably, a man can dress like a dragon and simulate sex with the tailpipes of the cars residing within his garage, as long as he has the cars’ consent. However, if this behaviour is replicated in public there will be consequences.

Maybe the same should be done with Halloween costumes. A person so cursed with malformed composition can exist in any state of dress and/or undress in any manner they please, in their own home, partying along side other consenting and no doubt wretched looking adults. An obese man in a Catwoman outfit rubbing the bits of his belly where his groin should be against the arse of a husky, pregnant woman dressed as Baby Huey, for instance. If these people should then leave their house in the very same state of dress and/or undress and enter the public commons where I or any other law and decency abiding costumed denizen might bear the lamentable fortune of viewing their corpulent costumes, Johnathan W. Law should be present to punish the bastards.


What then about this Internet age we live in, where the lines of public and private are blurred thanks to the facebook, the myspace, and the Merriam-Webster Open Dictionary? The answer is simple. If you, in a momentary lapse of good judgement or out of a more sinister calling (it is not for me to judge), make the decision to view the photos of someone you know to be of a beastly bent, then the ugly daggers emitted from your screen shall bear your name alone.

In that spirit, do not look at this link (especially at work):



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